If this is not lust, what then is this?

[AlutaChampion]

The forum looks dry, but I'm hoping I'll be able to get response, here.

Okay,
There's this lady that has been occupying my heart for a longtime now. She was my junior in school, and I was helping her out with catching up when she newly came.

That was then. Now she's about rounding off. After a while of not being in touch, we later connected as she needed assistance for some projects.

This is where this whole attachment started budding off. Right now, she basically occupies my mind anytime I'm unto something. I'm pretty sure this is not lust, but can't say if it's love.

This may sound funky, but I've tried casting out the thoughts of her, but it's just not working.

There's this question of if it's me just being attached, as she only reaches out when I may be of help. . .

And then, she's Muslim!

Can someone here tell me what this is all about, and how to handle it?

Yeah, I know these are pretty well unarranged, just shows how much of a rambling my is on now!

[JustWise]

Before saying something beyond this, what do you mean by casting out the thoughts of her?

[AlutaChampion]

Before saying something beyond this, what do you mean by casting out the thoughts of her?

Like praying her out of my mind!!

[AlutaChampion]

Almost a month, and no community!

[admin]

Well, this is you basically been attracted to her. Doesn't need to be lust. But whether this attraction is mutual, is a different issue on it's own right. As Her religion forbids her from having any emotional relationship with you (I'm assuming that you're a Christian male).

Sure thing, there are exceptions to the above. But that's only when the feelings are mutual. And if she is courageous enough to take the dare. If

And then, she's Muslim!

Can someone here tell me what this is all about and how to handle it?

Yeah, I know these are pretty well unarranged, just shows how much of a rambling my is on now!

How about you give us an idea about the "projects" that connected you with her again ?

[Annie]

Since nobody wants to talk about this, @AlutaChampion the truth is you're abusing responsibility. You're taking advantage of the lady by nursing feelings off her need for coaching.

With the way you write, I doubt if the feeling has not always been there all the while as you claimed. What happened is that it's only now you're able to acknowledge the truth that you never saw her as just a 'junior'.

Possibly that was why you continued coaching her up on tutorials. Because it has always been 'beyond academic'. And I won't be surprise if you've once told her as a freshman to "Beware of boys"!

Yeah. I've been there before. Adults who flogged us as kids to go put on our pants, are now running after us to pull it down.

So sad.

[AdeFemi]

You sound pained.

Since nobody wants to talk about this, @AlutaChampion the truth is you're abusing responsibility. You're taking advantage of the lady by nursing feelings off her need for coaching.

With the way you write, I doubt if the feeling has not always been there all the while as you claimed. What happened is that it's only now you're able to acknowledge the truth that you never saw her as just a 'junior'.

Possibly that was why you continued coaching her up on tutorials. Because it has always been 'beyond academic'. And I won't be surprise if you've once told her as a freshman to "Beware of boys"!

Yeah. I've been there before. Adults who flogged us as kids to go put on our pants, are now running after us to pull it down.

So sad.

[AdeFemi]

Well, this is you basically been attracted to her. Doesn't need to be lust. But if this attraction is mutual, is a different issue on it's own right. As Her religion forbids her from having any emotional relationship with you (I'm assuming that you're a Christian male).

Sure thing, there are exceptions to the above. But that's only when the feelings are mutual. And she is courageous enough to take the dare.

I know some Muslims in romantic relationship with Christians. So what's your point here? I don't agree that her religion forbids her from having any relationship with a @AlutaChampion as a Christian.

Maybe there are other reasons, but it's simply not religious. Stop miseducating people.

[Ennis]

First and foremost, if @ admin is right about you being a non-muslim, then you really need to quash those feelings getting you attached to her. As there is a bit of a double standard for men and women of this religion. Men are permitted to court and marry a woman of any faith, resulting in an interfaith marriage. This means that one may be dating a Muslim guy but have a very different religion.

On the other hand, Muslim women are only permitted to marry men of the same faith. A Muslim lady, will only want to focus on dating a Muslim guy.


Unlike other religions, dating can also be a rather quick process in the Islamic tradition. While people often date members of the opposite sex for fun, Muslims are searching for a marriage partner. This is one of the most significant decisions they will make, and they do not take this responsibility lightly.

Once they find the right match, relationships often move from courtship to engagement at a fast pace.

Cc:
@AdeFemi

[Ennis]

Since nobody wants to talk about this, @AlutaChampion the truth is you're abusing responsibility. You're taking advantage of the lady by nursing feelings off her need for coaching.

With the way you write, I doubt if the feeling has not always been there all the while as you claimed. What happened is that it's only now you're able to acknowledge the truth that you never saw her as just a 'junior'.

Possibly that was why you continued coaching her up on tutorials. Because it has always been 'beyond academic'. And I won't be surprise if you've once told her as a freshman to "Beware of boys"!

Yeah. I've been there before. Adults who flogged us as kids to go put on our pants, are now running after us to pull it down.

So sad.

I just could not stop laughing, Annie! But it is so true and annoying at same time

[Whitrock]

@Annie as always, you won't talk about the ladies abusing responsibilities. The female student that leaves her responsibility as a learner and goes bent on seducing the teacher.

I don't think we are ready for this talk. And until we are ready, all what you wrote there is just what they naturally are:

NONSENSE

[Homachi]

@AlutaChampion There is something you're not telling us! Were you not the one that said he feels emotions for no one?

Guys.....I am probably one of the few who falls into this category...
No emotions, no feelings, don't get hurt by breakups, don't get offended ....you know.

So have Been wondering if it's natural..or what you think?

How on earth you're now getting attached to this 'junior'? Or is the attachment also with "no emotions, no feelings"

[JEFFREY]

I think am same with you

[Levi]

It is possible the attraction is mutual, considering her being a Muslim she is forbidden bybjwr religion from having romantic relationship with you, it will take a great deal of courage for her compromise this belief and if she is not courageous enough she will instead be doing all she can in suppressing the feelings, that might be her reason for keeping the distance and only show up when she needed help.

It is also possible she doesn't feel the same way you do, personally I think there's nothing wrong in expressing your feelings for someone you love, you either get a positive I negative feedback.
So talk to her, I sense you're bringing this up now because she is about leaving school and you might not get see her again, so you want to shoot your shot but don't know if you should.
Religion shouldn't be a barrier, if religion is all about belief, both of you can adopt love as your religion by believing in Love

[admin]

@Annie as always, you won't talk about the ladies abusing responsibilities. The female student that leaves her responsibility as a learner and goes bent on seducing the teacher.

I don't think we are ready for this talk. And until we are ready, all what you wrote there is just what they naturally are:

NONSENSE

We really don't have to turn every topic into some gender war, please.

[AdeFemi]

@AlutaChampion There is something you're not telling us! Were you not the one that said he feels emotions for no one?

Guys.....I am probably one of the few who falls into this category...
No emotions, no feelings, don't get hurt by breakups, don't get offended ....you know.

So have Been wondering if it's natural..or what you think?

How on earth you're now getting attached to this 'junior'? Or is the attachment also with "no emotions, no feelings"

That was 2021 @Homachi. People change. And tend to see things differently with time. Remember that next time you start to feel like you have made some discovery.

[JustWise]

We really don't have to turn every topic into some gender war, please.

As usual!! It's always you supporting @Annie. I bet you didn't see the trash she wrote up there. You really need to tell us what's up between you both.

[admin]

Nothing needs to be up between us both @JustWise. You could make a point without shading others. The rule is, remember to be civil. It applies to everyone. @Annie, including.

[JustWise]

First and foremost, if @ admin is right about you being a non-muslim, then you really need to quash those feelings getting you attached to her. As there is a bit of a double standard for men and women of this religion. Men are permitted to court and marry a woman of any faith, resulting in an interfaith marriage. This means that one may be dating a Muslim guy but have a very different religion.

On the other hand, Muslim women are only permitted to marry men of the same faith. A Muslim lady, will only want to focus on dating a Muslim guy.


Unlike other religions, dating can also be a rather quick process in the Islamic tradition. While people often date members of the opposite sex for fun, Muslims are searching for a marriage partner. This is one of the most significant decisions they will make, and they do not take this responsibility lightly.

Once they find the right match, relationships often move from courtship to engagement at a fast pace.

Cc:
@AdeFemi

So you're Muslim? Tell me why a man can date a non Muslim and not the woman.

[JustWise]

I think am same with you

You're in love with a Muslim, too?

[JustWise]

Like praying her out of my mind!!

And has it been successful

[Felicia]

Your friends are very dear to you and give you a sense of stability, belonging and security - that is why you cannot bear the thought if losing them. Right now your friendship mean the world to you - it is your platform where you are accepted and where you bloom. You are able to dance freely. Life moves in seasons though and with that comes change. This is a reality of life.

People move away, some follow their dreams far far away. You as a person will grow and could meet someone who you would follow to ends of the world because you love them so. Some will marry and have babies, some will become absorbed by work and won't have time to hang out as much as before. It's all part of growing up and the changing seasons. It may feel unthinkable now, but time is a great teacher.

The best you can do is to enjoy your closeness, the feeling of belonging that you experience right now. Some friends could stay connected for many years still - so just take it easy. Others will move on. Don't fear the change, move with the season.

I learnt a very valuable lesson in senior school: a teacher explained relationships to me as follows: 'a relationship or friendship is like a heap of fine sand you hold in the palm of your open hand. If you keep your hand open, the sand will stay in your hand. If you close your fingers trying to hold the sand tighter, it will run through the gaps in your fingers and you'll be left with very little sand.' This analogy has helped me tremendously in all my relationships. If you give your friends the freedom to be themselves and to grow, they will stay your friend. If you try and cling onto them, preventing them to leave and restrict their growth, they will slip through your fingers.

Relax and enjoy the best times in your life. The future will look after itself. New friendships will develop as your life experiences change. All along you are learning more about people and life.

You sound like a wonderful loyal, loving friend to have - I'm sure your current and future friends will all agree. Have faith in yourself and have fun!

[AlutaChampion]

And has it been successful

I won't create this topic if it was

[AlutaChampion]

It is possible the attraction is mutual, considering her being a Muslim she is forbidden bybjwr religion from having romantic relationship with you, it will take a great deal of courage for her compromise this belief and if she is not courageous enough she will instead be doing all she can in suppressing the feelings, that might be her reason for keeping the distance and only show up when she needed help.

It is also possible she doesn't feel the same way you do, personally I think there's nothing wrong in expressing your feelings for someone you love, you either get a positive I negative feedback.
So talk to her, I sense you're bringing this up now because she is about leaving school and you might not get see her again, so you want to shoot your shot but don't know if you should.
Religion shouldn't be a barrier, if religion is all about belief, both of you can adopt love as your religion by believing in Love

So much sense here. Thanks

[JOJO]

Felicia, are you saying he should let go of her?

[Ennis]

So you're Muslim? Tell me why a man can date a non Muslim and not the woman.

Because the woman can easily be converted to the other religion. So it's a way of protecting the women, and a form of jihad. BTW, I'm no Muslim.

[JustWise]

Because the woman can easily be converted to the other religion. So it's a way of protecting the women, and a form of jihad. BTW, I'm no Muslim.

Now you know why I hate this religious folks. Hypocrisy is the one word answer. So it's good to get married to other women and turn them Muslims, but it's not good for Muslim babes to marry from some other religion - so that what goes around doesnt come around?

What do you mean by jihad ?

[JustWise]

@Rasheed come tell me why marriage in your religion is a form of jihad. and I think it is hypocrisy that you can marry from as a man, but cannot be married from as a woman. I know @Ennis is wrong on this. Just tell me I'm right.

[Homachi]

That was 2021 @Homachi. People change. And tend to see things differently with time. Remember that next time you start to feel like you have made some discovery.

People change, yes. Not nature. Not inborn attributes. Or else remind me the last time you saw a phleg turn sanguine. They may fake it but do they change? No.

Remember this the next time you are tempted to sound stupid. You may not be this lucky again

[Kwarteng]

I won't be surprised if she is feeling something for you too. She may not be speaking as you are her senior. But without telling her what's happening to you, how will you ever find out?

[AdeFemi]

I won't be surprised if she is feeling something for you too. She may not be speaking as you are her senior. But without telling her what's happening to you, how will you ever find out?

Women are so complicated. If. She feels for him why not let him know?

[Ennis]

@Rasheed come tell me why marriage in your religion is a form of jihad. and I think it is hypocrisy that you can marry from as a man, but cannot be married from as a woman. I know @Ennis is wrong on this. Just tell me I'm right.

It's the truth, actually. I hope he comes to explain though

[Rasheed]

@Rasheed come tell me why marriage in your religion is a form of jihad. and I think it is hypocrisy that you can marry from as a man, but cannot be married from as a woman. I know @Ennis is wrong on this. Just tell me I'm right.

A muslimah cannot marry a Kaffir or an infidel. That's how it is. Nothing to explain there. If you ever find yourself loving one, join our religion of peace.

[Rasheed]

Before saying something beyond this, what do you mean by casting out the thoughts of her?

Like praying her out of my mind!!

Stop deceiving yourself. What happens to telling her how you feel? I will be surprised if she has not sensed your feelings yet.

[JustWise]

@Rasheed come tell me why marriage in your religion is a form of jihad. and I think it is hypocrisy that you can marry from as a man, but cannot be married from as a woman. I know @Ennis is wrong on this. Just tell me I'm right.

A muslimah cannot marry a Kaffir or an infidel. That's how it is. Nothing to explain there. If you ever find yourself loving one, join our religion of peace.

I will take your calling Islam a religion of peace as sarcasm considering your signature. There's no hell I can join a religion that thrives on bloodshed and violence. I'll rather end a Christian, instead.

So you can marry a woman from another religion but yours can't be married? This is hypocrisy. But what happens if the lady insists on marrying a guy from another religion ? You people will let her be, right?

[JustWise]

Women are so complicated. If. She feels for him why not let him know?

Since he feels for her too, he should let her know. Instead of all this casting and binding!

[JustWise]

Now you know why I hate this religious folks. Hypocrisy is the one word answer. So it's good to get married to other women and turn them Muslims, but it's not good for Muslim babes to marry from some other religion - so that what goes around doesnt come around?

What do you mean by jihad ?

@Rasheed seems you are the only Muslim here, so tell me what jihad means.

[AlutaChampion]

@JustWise I don't think he knows

[Rasheed]

Now you know why I hate this religious folks. Hypocrisy is the one word answer. So it's good to get married to other women and turn them Muslims, but it's not good for Muslim babes to marry from some other religion - so that what goes around doesnt come around?

What do you mean by jihad ?

@Rasheed seems you are the only Muslim here, so tell me what jihad means.

Jihad is a war against all infidels. You better stay off muslimahs or I will be the one to cut off your big head.

[AdeFemi]

• you are making no sense @Rasheed